What's the difference you might ask.
Some may say that I'm living life to the max, so what's wrong with that.
What they fail to see is I chose to LIVE (whether to the max or not, is depend on individual yardstick).
Who are we to judge others? We can only see the surface, we don't carry the load
or burden of those we see?
Neither do we really know the extend of our Islam is in the eyes of Allah?
Some people pray in solitude and do not show the extend of their faith to how society may perceive as best Muslimah practices.
It is best that we leave the judging to Allah swt.
This is to PREVENT us from feeling arrogant.
Only Allah swt knows what lies in the hearts of men.
Men are lesser creatures, we know nothing but the surface of things.
Friday, November 16, 2007
Thursday, November 1, 2007
what's going on?
yup, it's been 1 full month since the last entry.
been kinda busy with life & work.
now, i need time to just recollect & reflect what has passed.
now, work is a breeze, though still high risk.
but we're getting along fine, the boys & me.
had to put my foot down for few instances, but then they
know i mean business when it comes to work.
all else is okay.
i feel grateful, truly grateful that i'm still managing my life fine.
i visited people during festive seasons, and realise how truly blessed
my life is.
i also felt humbled by the courage of my aunt who's still living
with liver cancer. i felt hapless watching another relative, dying of lung cancer.
it was a deep contrast.
the aunt is a poor lady in her sixties, living in an old flat, widowed, and taking care of her sickly father. her children, 2 boys, aged 20 and 21, still living with her.
she tells me that sometimes she don't have money to pay for medicines,
and the doctor is telling her to go for further treatments.
the doc gave her 6 mths to live, and that was a year ago.
I felt humbled by her courage. she still keep the house running on whatever
little money that she has. and she still smiling and laughing.
i know that smile, and i know the sadness behind that laughter.
and i also know that we should not surrender until our last breath.
she asked if me and my sis are fine, we answered yes.
i don't wish to bog her down with details.
afterall, i was visiting, she's supposed to be the one needing cheering up.
the other lady i met is a younger one, @ forty. she has 3 kids, living in a big house
and have both parents healthy enough to take care of her.
she is weak from the pain & post op. she has everything, a loving husband,
2 grownup kids, both independent, and the last 1 still in pri. school.
her days are numbered, but then filled with love by her family, cousins and friends.
she has a resigned look on her face, it was sad to see her like this.
she was vibrant, and sweet. but now she's frail, and she looks so sad.
i guess it's b'cos she has a lot going for her, good things, like family and love ones.
and that's why she desperately trying to live, but with the death look in her eyes.
it was irony, the one who possess little and living meagrely is still living, and
smiling and not surrendering to the pain & sadness.
and yet, the one with everything going for her is surrendering and dying
painfully.
i wonder which road i'll be going. my time has not come to suffer yet.
i know it's inevitably near, but i can't go the other way.
I refuse to be the one who surrenders and die.
I want to exit this life, "alive" & kicking.
Will I be able to? only Allah knows!
been kinda busy with life & work.
now, i need time to just recollect & reflect what has passed.
now, work is a breeze, though still high risk.
but we're getting along fine, the boys & me.
had to put my foot down for few instances, but then they
know i mean business when it comes to work.
all else is okay.
i feel grateful, truly grateful that i'm still managing my life fine.
i visited people during festive seasons, and realise how truly blessed
my life is.
i also felt humbled by the courage of my aunt who's still living
with liver cancer. i felt hapless watching another relative, dying of lung cancer.
it was a deep contrast.
the aunt is a poor lady in her sixties, living in an old flat, widowed, and taking care of her sickly father. her children, 2 boys, aged 20 and 21, still living with her.
she tells me that sometimes she don't have money to pay for medicines,
and the doctor is telling her to go for further treatments.
the doc gave her 6 mths to live, and that was a year ago.
I felt humbled by her courage. she still keep the house running on whatever
little money that she has. and she still smiling and laughing.
i know that smile, and i know the sadness behind that laughter.
and i also know that we should not surrender until our last breath.
she asked if me and my sis are fine, we answered yes.
i don't wish to bog her down with details.
afterall, i was visiting, she's supposed to be the one needing cheering up.
the other lady i met is a younger one, @ forty. she has 3 kids, living in a big house
and have both parents healthy enough to take care of her.
she is weak from the pain & post op. she has everything, a loving husband,
2 grownup kids, both independent, and the last 1 still in pri. school.
her days are numbered, but then filled with love by her family, cousins and friends.
she has a resigned look on her face, it was sad to see her like this.
she was vibrant, and sweet. but now she's frail, and she looks so sad.
i guess it's b'cos she has a lot going for her, good things, like family and love ones.
and that's why she desperately trying to live, but with the death look in her eyes.
it was irony, the one who possess little and living meagrely is still living, and
smiling and not surrendering to the pain & sadness.
and yet, the one with everything going for her is surrendering and dying
painfully.
i wonder which road i'll be going. my time has not come to suffer yet.
i know it's inevitably near, but i can't go the other way.
I refuse to be the one who surrenders and die.
I want to exit this life, "alive" & kicking.
Will I be able to? only Allah knows!
Monday, October 1, 2007
Woah!! Garang seh!
Last Thurday my sabar-bubble burst!
Last week was a super-busy week. We had ISO/TS16949 audit for 3 days.
On top of that it was time for the half-year stock take.
And on top of that it was month end.
Also, it was MBO reporting time and PA time.
And to TOP it of, I had to handle both lines audit, stock take & month end.
So it was Thursday, audit completed successfully with no findings.
But because of stock take, material ordering had to be completed before the cut-off time.
The slow fella started his schedule at 8.30am. He is supposed to complete before 2pm so that the GLs can summarise and order before cut-off at 2.30pm.
HE was so busy confusing himself that he was still scratching his brains out at 11.30am
without any real progress to the schedule.
I was at my wits end. My patience was running out, like water down thirsty throat.
Finally I left the room and stand outside.
He came running after me, telling me to come back to his side and help him with the schedule.
I was sick to the stomache, I almost broke my fast because of him.
I calm down and ask him "Do you still want to do the schedule? How long more must I coach you on the schedule? You have been doing the schedule longer than I did, and yet you still cannot make the schedule. So do you want to do the schedule or not?"
His reply "I want to, but my brain is blocked and I cannot think. Please help.
I still need you to coach me"
Then I ask him, "How long more to coach you? Time is running out today. And I do not wish to coach you anymore. So please tell me whether you still want to do the schedule?"
He finally decided that he did not want to continue with the schedule.
So I told him, "From now on, I'll take over the schedule, but you must be out of the office and let me do it alone. I don't wish to coach you anymore, I just want to start the takeover of the job. So please leave the room while I do my work."
He look at me bewildered, " But i want to learn from you, why can't I sit beside you and watch?"
I told him again that I'm finished with coaching him. And I left it at that.
I walked back to office, and sit down to do my work, with him in tow. When he still refused to move, I had to politely ask him to leave the room. He hesitated, but finally leave.
And I was left with 2 hours to plan the weeks schedule.
I finally completed it, and in record time, at 1.30pm.
When I called the GLs to tell them that the schedule is ready, they were so relieved.
No one could have guessed that I completed the task in 1.5hrs. They were so used to seeing him doing the same task over several days, and with OT hours just to complete the week's schedule!
I'm no Superwoman. I'm not trying to gloat either, but he is just too slow and with no common sense and no confidence to perform the work.
So on last Thursday, 27th Sept 2007, I finally took over the helm of X-bldg.
The foreman & GLs then came over and congratulate me for being able to complete the task in record time, and with no hassle.
I felt Garang, seh! Not for completing the schedule, but for finally chasing him out of the office.
Heee.........!
Last week was a super-busy week. We had ISO/TS16949 audit for 3 days.
On top of that it was time for the half-year stock take.
And on top of that it was month end.
Also, it was MBO reporting time and PA time.
And to TOP it of, I had to handle both lines audit, stock take & month end.
So it was Thursday, audit completed successfully with no findings.
But because of stock take, material ordering had to be completed before the cut-off time.
The slow fella started his schedule at 8.30am. He is supposed to complete before 2pm so that the GLs can summarise and order before cut-off at 2.30pm.
HE was so busy confusing himself that he was still scratching his brains out at 11.30am
without any real progress to the schedule.
I was at my wits end. My patience was running out, like water down thirsty throat.
Finally I left the room and stand outside.
He came running after me, telling me to come back to his side and help him with the schedule.
I was sick to the stomache, I almost broke my fast because of him.
I calm down and ask him "Do you still want to do the schedule? How long more must I coach you on the schedule? You have been doing the schedule longer than I did, and yet you still cannot make the schedule. So do you want to do the schedule or not?"
His reply "I want to, but my brain is blocked and I cannot think. Please help.
I still need you to coach me"
Then I ask him, "How long more to coach you? Time is running out today. And I do not wish to coach you anymore. So please tell me whether you still want to do the schedule?"
He finally decided that he did not want to continue with the schedule.
So I told him, "From now on, I'll take over the schedule, but you must be out of the office and let me do it alone. I don't wish to coach you anymore, I just want to start the takeover of the job. So please leave the room while I do my work."
He look at me bewildered, " But i want to learn from you, why can't I sit beside you and watch?"
I told him again that I'm finished with coaching him. And I left it at that.
I walked back to office, and sit down to do my work, with him in tow. When he still refused to move, I had to politely ask him to leave the room. He hesitated, but finally leave.
And I was left with 2 hours to plan the weeks schedule.
I finally completed it, and in record time, at 1.30pm.
When I called the GLs to tell them that the schedule is ready, they were so relieved.
No one could have guessed that I completed the task in 1.5hrs. They were so used to seeing him doing the same task over several days, and with OT hours just to complete the week's schedule!
I'm no Superwoman. I'm not trying to gloat either, but he is just too slow and with no common sense and no confidence to perform the work.
So on last Thursday, 27th Sept 2007, I finally took over the helm of X-bldg.
The foreman & GLs then came over and congratulate me for being able to complete the task in record time, and with no hassle.
I felt Garang, seh! Not for completing the schedule, but for finally chasing him out of the office.
Heee.........!
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Hell-o (Part 2)
It's been an interesting week. I made the transition from Water person
to Organic person.
I guess the volatile fluid did get to my brain, eventually.
Let's recap.
On Monday, I had to go from Main bldg to Ex bldg @ 0930hrs.
Waited for my new boss, Jap guy, and as usual he kept me waiting almost 15 mins.
After that, did exactly nothing except hang around, looking at the Bodoh boy
do the schedule. Surprisingly, his speed improved by 10%, but his focus improved
by none. His communication still vulgar (he actually use at least 2 words in every sentence he utters, even at time burst out in singular vulgarity.) I believe his vocab is limited, that's why.
Tuesday, I was doing almost exactly as Monday, except that more vulgarity was registered
than Monday.
At around 3pm, was informed that we had to prepare for index meeting on Wed.
Bodoh boy lamented that I will not be home on time, but I told him my target is still set
at 5.30pm.
We managed to meet the target (no thanks to the slow toad).
I can't believe anyone can be so full of himself and constantly condemning others.
His output for the whole day was 1 schedule & 1 index report.
Wednesday was funny.
I left him stranded at Ex bldg, then got message from him that the Jap boss
wants me to "strongly support" him to do the index report (which was completed
the day before).
I didn't respond, but then met them only after lunch during the 2nd part of index meeting.
However, my GM finally spoke to me and asked me abt my new assignment.
I said everything was okay, I noticed many changes and improvement made to the Ex bldg.
I've nothing much to say to him, anyway.
I did my presentation, and then attended the 2nd part of meeting to watch Bodoh boy present his. As usual, everything went ok, and the day ended as such.
Today was no different. I don't know how long I can tahan without doing any actual work.
It seems that Bodoh boy don't wish to handover his work to me.
He still believe that he is doing a good job and that he has support from his subordinate.
How dense can someone be? He just refuse to see the truth.
Like what my Jap boss say abt Bodoh boy, "He wants to stay, but cannot stay."
However, for my case, I don't want to go there, but still I have to go.
Well that's life at Ex bldg.
to Organic person.
I guess the volatile fluid did get to my brain, eventually.
Let's recap.
On Monday, I had to go from Main bldg to Ex bldg @ 0930hrs.
Waited for my new boss, Jap guy, and as usual he kept me waiting almost 15 mins.
After that, did exactly nothing except hang around, looking at the Bodoh boy
do the schedule. Surprisingly, his speed improved by 10%, but his focus improved
by none. His communication still vulgar (he actually use at least 2 words in every sentence he utters, even at time burst out in singular vulgarity.) I believe his vocab is limited, that's why.
Tuesday, I was doing almost exactly as Monday, except that more vulgarity was registered
than Monday.
At around 3pm, was informed that we had to prepare for index meeting on Wed.
Bodoh boy lamented that I will not be home on time, but I told him my target is still set
at 5.30pm.
We managed to meet the target (no thanks to the slow toad).
I can't believe anyone can be so full of himself and constantly condemning others.
His output for the whole day was 1 schedule & 1 index report.
Wednesday was funny.
I left him stranded at Ex bldg, then got message from him that the Jap boss
wants me to "strongly support" him to do the index report (which was completed
the day before).
I didn't respond, but then met them only after lunch during the 2nd part of index meeting.
However, my GM finally spoke to me and asked me abt my new assignment.
I said everything was okay, I noticed many changes and improvement made to the Ex bldg.
I've nothing much to say to him, anyway.
I did my presentation, and then attended the 2nd part of meeting to watch Bodoh boy present his. As usual, everything went ok, and the day ended as such.
Today was no different. I don't know how long I can tahan without doing any actual work.
It seems that Bodoh boy don't wish to handover his work to me.
He still believe that he is doing a good job and that he has support from his subordinate.
How dense can someone be? He just refuse to see the truth.
Like what my Jap boss say abt Bodoh boy, "He wants to stay, but cannot stay."
However, for my case, I don't want to go there, but still I have to go.
Well that's life at Ex bldg.
Thursday, September 6, 2007
Hell-o Here I Come!
Hell, that's how I view it. But hey, this is a great opportunity to prove myself.
A woman of substance can always overcome adversity, right?
Yeah, right... I'm still having a hard time convincing myself.
Yesterday, at the canteen, I ran into the GM. When he sees me he smiled sheepishly,
like a naughty boy that's up to no good. But I just smiled back and greet him.
I guess he's waiting for me to confront him, but then, I'm not going to let him
win this war. I'll show him what I got and prove that I can do it!
Yeah, right.... again.I'm halfway up the confidence ladder,
still hanging on tipped toes, anticipating that I might fall any minute,
or the ladder might just give way under my weight.
But what the hech, I'll just have to ride along with the tide.
No point worrying about it.
BE POSITIVE!!!
Hee hee...........................................Ouch! Just stub my toe again!
Reality is hard to avoid!
A woman of substance can always overcome adversity, right?
Yeah, right... I'm still having a hard time convincing myself.
Yesterday, at the canteen, I ran into the GM. When he sees me he smiled sheepishly,
like a naughty boy that's up to no good. But I just smiled back and greet him.
I guess he's waiting for me to confront him, but then, I'm not going to let him
win this war. I'll show him what I got and prove that I can do it!
Yeah, right.... again.I'm halfway up the confidence ladder,
still hanging on tipped toes, anticipating that I might fall any minute,
or the ladder might just give way under my weight.
But what the hech, I'll just have to ride along with the tide.
No point worrying about it.
BE POSITIVE!!!
Hee hee...........................................Ouch! Just stub my toe again!
Reality is hard to avoid!
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Re-assignment to Hell
Today, my boss just informed me of my re-assignment to S-Bldg.
S-bldg is the prod line that caught fire the other day during my temp support.
Thanks to the Jpn GM having no confidence with the current group, he wants me
to takeover that problem line so that he can leave Sgp with a peace of mind.
But what about my peace of mind?
This position is not for woman, the whole team there are men.
If 3 men cannot control the prod line, how abt me?
And the risk of fire & explosion, and the solvent used in that line
is really hazardous for health & lives.
I turned down the job, but he still insist that I can do a good job.
It is not me that I'm worried about, but is the AGM that is putting me off.
His style is to interfere with everything, criticise everything and accepts nothing.
His mgmt style is to hold the prod line by the scruff and then dictate everything
single moves, and breath down every single neck.
His direction is "no direction", as he will send his men down several lanes, then scold them
for "not following the single lane". He gives instructions without understanding the consequences, and he treats his men like punching bags for him to scold, whack and then use them also as his smoking buddy. He uses people and abuses them, too.
I don't like the prospect of having to lead like puppets on strings.
My way of mgmt is way different than his, and I can foresee problems ahead.
I know the boys will be happy to see me taking the lead, but this is is like sending myself to the
butcher for slaughter.
What can I do?
I know I have to ride the waves, but I don't know how long I can hold on to the board.
I don't want to be thrown off the board, and I don't want to throw myself off the board either.
What shall I do?
S-bldg is the prod line that caught fire the other day during my temp support.
Thanks to the Jpn GM having no confidence with the current group, he wants me
to takeover that problem line so that he can leave Sgp with a peace of mind.
But what about my peace of mind?
This position is not for woman, the whole team there are men.
If 3 men cannot control the prod line, how abt me?
And the risk of fire & explosion, and the solvent used in that line
is really hazardous for health & lives.
I turned down the job, but he still insist that I can do a good job.
It is not me that I'm worried about, but is the AGM that is putting me off.
His style is to interfere with everything, criticise everything and accepts nothing.
His mgmt style is to hold the prod line by the scruff and then dictate everything
single moves, and breath down every single neck.
His direction is "no direction", as he will send his men down several lanes, then scold them
for "not following the single lane". He gives instructions without understanding the consequences, and he treats his men like punching bags for him to scold, whack and then use them also as his smoking buddy. He uses people and abuses them, too.
I don't like the prospect of having to lead like puppets on strings.
My way of mgmt is way different than his, and I can foresee problems ahead.
I know the boys will be happy to see me taking the lead, but this is is like sending myself to the
butcher for slaughter.
What can I do?
I know I have to ride the waves, but I don't know how long I can hold on to the board.
I don't want to be thrown off the board, and I don't want to throw myself off the board either.
What shall I do?
Friday, August 17, 2007
Dreamers
I had a sad, and rather wild dream last night.
I woke up with a lump in my throat, I nearly wept.
The dream went like this...
Somehow, I was back to when I was single and I frequently spent my time in KT.
Well, one day, my parents' friends came with their children.
They had several children, young girls & 2 boys slightly older than me.
I got to know them and we talked alot.
But there elder of the 2 boys was not too friendly.
He would just listen and smile once in a while.
Somehow I liked the elder one better.
After they left, we received some gifts & letters from the boys.
It was a nice gesture, and I was happy to receive them.
Then one day, I had to attend a wedding hosted by this family.
I met both of the boys, but then I get to know the elder one better.
We talked, and I got to like him more.
Then a storm came, and all of us had to take shelter at their home.
In the rush, I lost him among the crowds.
When things were okay, I went around looking for him.
Whenever I mention his name, his family members will look
at me strangely.
But then, the younger brother told me something
that surprises me, and it hit me like a bullet.
What he told me was,
"How do you know Abraham? Why are you looking for him?"
I answered "He was with me before...."
But then he said "He's haunting you, cause he passed away sometime ago..."
A chill ran through me. I was so saddened and bewildered by the answer.
I was shocked and frightened and sad at the same time.
I had no tears to cry, but it was the sadness that really pains me.
When I woke up, I was still having this heavy sadness in my heart.
So much for my wild imagination.
anyway, Abraham looks like Matthew McConaughey....heeee...
I woke up with a lump in my throat, I nearly wept.
The dream went like this...
Somehow, I was back to when I was single and I frequently spent my time in KT.
Well, one day, my parents' friends came with their children.
They had several children, young girls & 2 boys slightly older than me.
I got to know them and we talked alot.
But there elder of the 2 boys was not too friendly.
He would just listen and smile once in a while.
Somehow I liked the elder one better.
After they left, we received some gifts & letters from the boys.
It was a nice gesture, and I was happy to receive them.
Then one day, I had to attend a wedding hosted by this family.
I met both of the boys, but then I get to know the elder one better.
We talked, and I got to like him more.
Then a storm came, and all of us had to take shelter at their home.
In the rush, I lost him among the crowds.
When things were okay, I went around looking for him.
Whenever I mention his name, his family members will look
at me strangely.
But then, the younger brother told me something
that surprises me, and it hit me like a bullet.
What he told me was,
"How do you know Abraham? Why are you looking for him?"
I answered "He was with me before...."
But then he said "He's haunting you, cause he passed away sometime ago..."
A chill ran through me. I was so saddened and bewildered by the answer.
I was shocked and frightened and sad at the same time.
I had no tears to cry, but it was the sadness that really pains me.
When I woke up, I was still having this heavy sadness in my heart.
So much for my wild imagination.
anyway, Abraham looks like Matthew McConaughey....heeee...
Nieces & Nephews . . . . .?!
Hi dears,
this is to inform you that yes, I do read your blogs, and i love
every single thing about it.
The pics, the thoughts, the feelings, the side that I hardly knew,
those things that I knew, and all those things that I have yet to know about.
Don't worry, your freedom of expression should not be censored by knowing that
your aunt is reading them.
Just look at it this way, your aunt love you guys enough to take time to read
what you wrote, ok!
Love you guys always!!!!!!!!!
this is to inform you that yes, I do read your blogs, and i love
every single thing about it.
The pics, the thoughts, the feelings, the side that I hardly knew,
those things that I knew, and all those things that I have yet to know about.
Don't worry, your freedom of expression should not be censored by knowing that
your aunt is reading them.
Just look at it this way, your aunt love you guys enough to take time to read
what you wrote, ok!
Love you guys always!!!!!!!!!
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
MMMMMMCCCCCCCC
Ha! That sweet words, "Go home & rest....."
The doctor told me that I have fever, but I was not aware of it.
So what did I do? Yup, go home and rest... actually I went home
and fixed the wireless adaptor to the old PC.
Had trouble fixing it, the adaptor was not able to detect the WLAN.
Call the Prolink guys, they helped me out, but then after connection,
I was not able to link to to any website. Call MIO, they can't help either.
They gave me Microsoft helpdesk number.
I called and tell them the error code, they link me to tech person (in KL)
and then the WLAN got disconnected again.
The MS tech guy called Prolink guy, and all 3 of us had conf call.
Finally without any one of their help, I restarted my PC the 20th time,
replug the USB adaptor, and somehow I was connected and surfing again.
The MS guy sternly told the Prolink guy that something is wrong with their adaptor.
So after 2 hours hanging on the phone, I finally got to surf on this old PC again.
Ahhh, technology. Even after years of using it, we cannot run away from product
problems. All these technology somehow make me feel intimidated.
I've always been lost in IT world. Somehow I cannot get the hang of it.
Problems solved, and my fever is still high. But I can't sleep cos my brain is still
processing all these IT stuffs.
MMMMCCCCC, what sweet words these are! If only I can go to sleep now......
The doctor told me that I have fever, but I was not aware of it.
So what did I do? Yup, go home and rest... actually I went home
and fixed the wireless adaptor to the old PC.
Had trouble fixing it, the adaptor was not able to detect the WLAN.
Call the Prolink guys, they helped me out, but then after connection,
I was not able to link to to any website. Call MIO, they can't help either.
They gave me Microsoft helpdesk number.
I called and tell them the error code, they link me to tech person (in KL)
and then the WLAN got disconnected again.
The MS tech guy called Prolink guy, and all 3 of us had conf call.
Finally without any one of their help, I restarted my PC the 20th time,
replug the USB adaptor, and somehow I was connected and surfing again.
The MS guy sternly told the Prolink guy that something is wrong with their adaptor.
So after 2 hours hanging on the phone, I finally got to surf on this old PC again.
Ahhh, technology. Even after years of using it, we cannot run away from product
problems. All these technology somehow make me feel intimidated.
I've always been lost in IT world. Somehow I cannot get the hang of it.
Problems solved, and my fever is still high. But I can't sleep cos my brain is still
processing all these IT stuffs.
MMMMCCCCC, what sweet words these are! If only I can go to sleep now......
Monday, August 13, 2007
Noise, noise, noise
My neighbour and her daughter (9yrs old) have been screaming since the time I reached home (6pm) until now. It is late okay, @ 11.10pm. And her little girl has just slammed the door.
I know that it is none of my business, but I can't help it.
About 2 months back, the noise was so unbearable that I had to called the police to check on the
girl. For 2 weeks I would hear them fighting and the girl crying & wailing like she's been raped,
or roped. When the police came, they confirmed that it was noise from the neighbour,
but then classify it as domestic dispute.
Later that day, I heard the girl screaming & shouting at the mother, but then no response from her. Then it dawn on me that the problem is the girl.
And true enough, from that day onwards, I only hear the girl's voice screaming & shouting at
her mom. She's only quiet when her dad comes home.
And now, it started again. Both mom & daughter having shouting match with each other.
Can you imagine the noise??
I can understand when family have their arguments, and once in a while, fights.
But please, not every day & night!
We are living in close proximity. Even though behind close doors, we can still hear each other.
You don't have to put much effort to listen, cos' we can & do hear things being said.
I wish the mom will just slap her silly. From the looks of it, the girl is the tyrant, and using screams & tantrums to get her way & bullying the mom.
Whenever I meet them at the corridor, I will greet the mom, and look straight at the girl.
I want her to know that we hear the noise she makes everyday.
I've ever bluntly asked the mom if she heard child screaming & shouting.
The mom naturally denies, but I can see the girl throwing a dirty look at me.
Well she can hide, but not for long. One of these days, her mom will snap, and she will
get the taste of her own medicine.
Ahhhh................... peace at last. No noise.........
I guess she's tired cos she got morning school.
Finally, peace at last ...........................................................
I know that it is none of my business, but I can't help it.
About 2 months back, the noise was so unbearable that I had to called the police to check on the
girl. For 2 weeks I would hear them fighting and the girl crying & wailing like she's been raped,
or roped. When the police came, they confirmed that it was noise from the neighbour,
but then classify it as domestic dispute.
Later that day, I heard the girl screaming & shouting at the mother, but then no response from her. Then it dawn on me that the problem is the girl.
And true enough, from that day onwards, I only hear the girl's voice screaming & shouting at
her mom. She's only quiet when her dad comes home.
And now, it started again. Both mom & daughter having shouting match with each other.
Can you imagine the noise??
I can understand when family have their arguments, and once in a while, fights.
But please, not every day & night!
We are living in close proximity. Even though behind close doors, we can still hear each other.
You don't have to put much effort to listen, cos' we can & do hear things being said.
I wish the mom will just slap her silly. From the looks of it, the girl is the tyrant, and using screams & tantrums to get her way & bullying the mom.
Whenever I meet them at the corridor, I will greet the mom, and look straight at the girl.
I want her to know that we hear the noise she makes everyday.
I've ever bluntly asked the mom if she heard child screaming & shouting.
The mom naturally denies, but I can see the girl throwing a dirty look at me.
Well she can hide, but not for long. One of these days, her mom will snap, and she will
get the taste of her own medicine.
Ahhhh................... peace at last. No noise.........
I guess she's tired cos she got morning school.
Finally, peace at last ...........................................................
Monday, July 16, 2007
when there's no point to go on ......
This is not a suicide note. This is frustration over work.
Apparently when the company decided to hire a person with no work experience to supervise
production, they have gone bonkers.
This new fella (6mths) slacks in every sense of the word. He lacks focus, has an attention span of a 3 yr old toddler, and behaves like a teenage brat. Even the operators are sick of his irresponsible behaviour.
Just as we are reminded everyday to not forget about safety, this idiot behaves as if he was never at the fire incident. This afternoon, when the solvent alarm went off (level 1), he pretended as if nothing happened (he was in the sheeting process). I had to step in and announce to the mixing boys to check & feedback. Within 1 min, the 2nd level alarm went off, and by this time everyone had to stop their work and listen for evacuation message. The idiot fella didn't even appear at the control room window. Luckily foreman Z was around. He went upstairs to check, and managed to contain the situation. No fire, just high level of solvent. But then there was some damage and leakage on the pipes, causing some cleanup required.
And still the idiot fella did not appear.
Finally after 10mins of fruitless waiting, I called him to the control room.
This was his reply,
He heard the alarm & announcements, but because of the paper work he was clearing
he did not feel the urgency to attend to the alarm.
He feels the urgency is for him to clear the paper work (which was due since morning but obviously delayed), cos the boss was expecting him to submit by the end of the day.
I felt sick to the stomach hearing this reply. Shit! I care more for this process than my own line, and here this fella gives me such reply.
So I told this straight to his face:
YOUR paperwork is more urgent than the explosion that might have happened???!!!
So it's ok to let the bldg explode as long as you clear your "URGENT" paper work???!
Some people have the nerve coming in to work, and yet do nothing and still get paid for it.
I have tried my best for the last 2 weeks to guide this fella so that he could pick up his work. Instead, I end up doing his work, and now leading his line for him? What is happening here?
I GIVE UP!
First thing tomorrow morning I will throw in the towel, and stop guiding him whatsoever.
It is about time that he swim or sink without me.
Apparently when the company decided to hire a person with no work experience to supervise
production, they have gone bonkers.
This new fella (6mths) slacks in every sense of the word. He lacks focus, has an attention span of a 3 yr old toddler, and behaves like a teenage brat. Even the operators are sick of his irresponsible behaviour.
Just as we are reminded everyday to not forget about safety, this idiot behaves as if he was never at the fire incident. This afternoon, when the solvent alarm went off (level 1), he pretended as if nothing happened (he was in the sheeting process). I had to step in and announce to the mixing boys to check & feedback. Within 1 min, the 2nd level alarm went off, and by this time everyone had to stop their work and listen for evacuation message. The idiot fella didn't even appear at the control room window. Luckily foreman Z was around. He went upstairs to check, and managed to contain the situation. No fire, just high level of solvent. But then there was some damage and leakage on the pipes, causing some cleanup required.
And still the idiot fella did not appear.
Finally after 10mins of fruitless waiting, I called him to the control room.
This was his reply,
He heard the alarm & announcements, but because of the paper work he was clearing
he did not feel the urgency to attend to the alarm.
He feels the urgency is for him to clear the paper work (which was due since morning but obviously delayed), cos the boss was expecting him to submit by the end of the day.
I felt sick to the stomach hearing this reply. Shit! I care more for this process than my own line, and here this fella gives me such reply.
So I told this straight to his face:
YOUR paperwork is more urgent than the explosion that might have happened???!!!
So it's ok to let the bldg explode as long as you clear your "URGENT" paper work???!
Some people have the nerve coming in to work, and yet do nothing and still get paid for it.
I have tried my best for the last 2 weeks to guide this fella so that he could pick up his work. Instead, I end up doing his work, and now leading his line for him? What is happening here?
I GIVE UP!
First thing tomorrow morning I will throw in the towel, and stop guiding him whatsoever.
It is about time that he swim or sink without me.
Tuesday, July 3, 2007
TIRED !!!!
I'm sooo tired. Tired of all the complaints in the world. Tired of me complaining, too.
I've been repeating the same old story to everyone of my co-workers who were wondering why I'm working at the other building. Face it, the company is big, 3 different buildings separately.
Of course once in a while the boss will request to support. Isn't that what is expected of us? To be flexible? Some people just don't get it that life is not a straight road. There bound to be detours, right? Well, this is my detour. I take it as that.
Of course, I get tired for being bounce back and forth like a ball. But at least, the very least is I enjoy the change of environment. I get to see that the grass is never greener on the other side.
I get to appreciate my position better.
Sometimes, it is good to get out and see the world (even though its only 500 meters away).
I've been repeating the same old story to everyone of my co-workers who were wondering why I'm working at the other building. Face it, the company is big, 3 different buildings separately.
Of course once in a while the boss will request to support. Isn't that what is expected of us? To be flexible? Some people just don't get it that life is not a straight road. There bound to be detours, right? Well, this is my detour. I take it as that.
Of course, I get tired for being bounce back and forth like a ball. But at least, the very least is I enjoy the change of environment. I get to see that the grass is never greener on the other side.
I get to appreciate my position better.
Sometimes, it is good to get out and see the world (even though its only 500 meters away).
Sunday, June 24, 2007
Count my Blessings
I went through hell on Friday. While on my assignment in the explosion proof building, the fire alarm went off. The foreman and supervisor and me all looked at each other and realise that something big is happening. Prior to this, no alarm went off to signal that system was out of control. Therefore the alarm must mean flash fire beyond control.
When we stepped out of the control room, we saw the boys running out of the changing room, still in their cleanroom uniform. They were shouting "Get out!!! Fire, Fire!!" Foreman Z rush into the C/R to check the situation. What he saw was thick black smoke coming from the 2nd Floor vestibule. He rushed down and out of the building. I was standing at the corridor when I saw foreman Z. Then I went out and looked for the smoke trace. I found it was coming from the upper floors only. I told the Facility guys, and then I left the building to check on the boys.
They were shocked and disorganised. I told them to do headcount, and they start to organise themselves. They were hysterical, and I had to command them to calm down. We confirmed that everone was out.
Then the fire trucks and rhinos arrived, followed by the police. The fire extinguishing system was auto released within 30 secs of the alarm. The fire was put out before the emergency unit arrived. But then there were still dark smoke coming out from the top. The Fire fighters went in to check and clear the building. No one was trapped inside, and no one was injured.
The top mgmt came within few minutes of the fire activation. I can see from their face the dollar signs moving in their head. This is terrible. I felt responsible cause I was the most Senior person in the Bldg when it happened.
Could I have done more, even though I was there as Mgmt Support for them? Would it be any different if had the foreman still be in the Prod area instead of the Control room where I was conducting the 5S exercise? Foreman Z could have saved the day if he was in the Prod area. Maybe he could not? Maybe the fire was too big that he tried, but could not save himself then, cos he is too brave. Maybe, he managed to put out the fire and stop the Fire Ext. System? May be, maybe, maybe.....
I have all this questions & guilt feelings, like more could have been done. Was there more can be done? I stood there looking at the smoke coming out. I looked at the boys, and realised that there was more than myself involved in this. I pity the boys, they did their best, but the blame will go to them.
I could not do more but wonder. The whole episode runs through my head again and again. I can't get it out of my system. These few days I try to find refuge, by going out with my daughter, meeting my sister to talked it out.
I have to put things in perspective. I should be glad that no lives were loss. Walls and ceilings can be fixed. No machines or equipment were destroyed. Only the facade of the Prod area were affected. Apparently, the boots and rags that caught fire were the source of the black smoke. The Fire Extinguishing system was working fine. It stopped the Fire from spreading, and the building from exploding. None of the Safety system was breached in the Fire. I have to count my blessings. What was done cannot be undone. I have to count my blessings right now.
When we stepped out of the control room, we saw the boys running out of the changing room, still in their cleanroom uniform. They were shouting "Get out!!! Fire, Fire!!" Foreman Z rush into the C/R to check the situation. What he saw was thick black smoke coming from the 2nd Floor vestibule. He rushed down and out of the building. I was standing at the corridor when I saw foreman Z. Then I went out and looked for the smoke trace. I found it was coming from the upper floors only. I told the Facility guys, and then I left the building to check on the boys.
They were shocked and disorganised. I told them to do headcount, and they start to organise themselves. They were hysterical, and I had to command them to calm down. We confirmed that everone was out.
Then the fire trucks and rhinos arrived, followed by the police. The fire extinguishing system was auto released within 30 secs of the alarm. The fire was put out before the emergency unit arrived. But then there were still dark smoke coming out from the top. The Fire fighters went in to check and clear the building. No one was trapped inside, and no one was injured.
The top mgmt came within few minutes of the fire activation. I can see from their face the dollar signs moving in their head. This is terrible. I felt responsible cause I was the most Senior person in the Bldg when it happened.
Could I have done more, even though I was there as Mgmt Support for them? Would it be any different if had the foreman still be in the Prod area instead of the Control room where I was conducting the 5S exercise? Foreman Z could have saved the day if he was in the Prod area. Maybe he could not? Maybe the fire was too big that he tried, but could not save himself then, cos he is too brave. Maybe, he managed to put out the fire and stop the Fire Ext. System? May be, maybe, maybe.....
I have all this questions & guilt feelings, like more could have been done. Was there more can be done? I stood there looking at the smoke coming out. I looked at the boys, and realised that there was more than myself involved in this. I pity the boys, they did their best, but the blame will go to them.
I could not do more but wonder. The whole episode runs through my head again and again. I can't get it out of my system. These few days I try to find refuge, by going out with my daughter, meeting my sister to talked it out.
I have to put things in perspective. I should be glad that no lives were loss. Walls and ceilings can be fixed. No machines or equipment were destroyed. Only the facade of the Prod area were affected. Apparently, the boots and rags that caught fire were the source of the black smoke. The Fire Extinguishing system was working fine. It stopped the Fire from spreading, and the building from exploding. None of the Safety system was breached in the Fire. I have to count my blessings. What was done cannot be undone. I have to count my blessings right now.
Sunday, June 17, 2007
Me Shy?!!
I've never been called the shy type. I've always been the outspoken, noisy, rowdy, the 'High I' type kind of person. But sometimes i switch roles, especially when I'm in my prodn meeting where I'm the only lady there. You know, men strut their stuffs as long as there are women (no matter how unattractive or manly the woman can be) around. Sometimes, I get sick looking at these men stretching their muscles, uncompromising and displaying the 'look at me' peacock syndrome. But what to do, I'm a woman in a MEN's world.
Sometimes, I get egoistic too, cos' i feel proud for being where I am right now. Guess some of the testosterone rub on me.
But funny how I shut up when I'm in a meeting. Just last week, I had to behave like a dumb bloke, eer, blonde! All because of I had to pretend that I did not actually do the work, cos I was only supporting the new fella. But I had to swallow my comments cos' I can't make my junior look stupid infront of the boss. If he look stupid, then I look stupid, too. Anyway, it was satisfying to know that secretly you are superior than them (MEN).
I really hate those Seniors who shoots down their Juniors in front of the boss. They actually feel GREAT abt it. But what i see is stupidity on their part, cos it shows that they did not check the Juniors' work before presenting to the boss. Then they show off their 'Superior' skill exactly after the Boss commented that Juniors' work is sub-standard. They nod along and agree to the Boss. But the Boss is not fooled by this. The Boss is just pleased to know that he's working with a bunch of 'Aye-sayers'. Anyway that's male testosterone, for you!
Me, I just pretend to be shy and a bit dumb. Somehow the big Boss is please with my work, and I receive my promotion recently. Guess how things work? That's exactly how I work. I don't talk much, but the result shows. My line is so far the examplary line whenever the Boss mention 5S. Good eh? I'm very Happy, you know.
Errr. I can smell the male hormone coming out from my arm pit! Urgh!!!!
Sometimes, I get egoistic too, cos' i feel proud for being where I am right now. Guess some of the testosterone rub on me.
But funny how I shut up when I'm in a meeting. Just last week, I had to behave like a dumb bloke, eer, blonde! All because of I had to pretend that I did not actually do the work, cos I was only supporting the new fella. But I had to swallow my comments cos' I can't make my junior look stupid infront of the boss. If he look stupid, then I look stupid, too. Anyway, it was satisfying to know that secretly you are superior than them (MEN).
I really hate those Seniors who shoots down their Juniors in front of the boss. They actually feel GREAT abt it. But what i see is stupidity on their part, cos it shows that they did not check the Juniors' work before presenting to the boss. Then they show off their 'Superior' skill exactly after the Boss commented that Juniors' work is sub-standard. They nod along and agree to the Boss. But the Boss is not fooled by this. The Boss is just pleased to know that he's working with a bunch of 'Aye-sayers'. Anyway that's male testosterone, for you!
Me, I just pretend to be shy and a bit dumb. Somehow the big Boss is please with my work, and I receive my promotion recently. Guess how things work? That's exactly how I work. I don't talk much, but the result shows. My line is so far the examplary line whenever the Boss mention 5S. Good eh? I'm very Happy, you know.
Errr. I can smell the male hormone coming out from my arm pit! Urgh!!!!
Thursday, June 14, 2007
what's up (or down)
Hi, funny that I had a tailspin after I wrote my first blog. I went crazy and restless, and so obvious that I frightened my junior staff. But now I'm ok.
I miss my daughter, she's at my sis place camping with her cousins. She's very happy
and excited to be with them. Guess, she feels lonely alone at home.
I spoke to my hubby. I wish that he could afford to take care of us.
I don't like to be away from him.
I miss him alot.
I'm afraid to take chances. I'm so comfortable with my life that I'm afraid of letting go
and tryout new life.
It is a big gamble to just let go, but sometimes I can't take it being alone and away
from him. I need a shoulder to lean on. I'm tired of being strong,
and being the strength for others. For once I want to be the one
in need.
I miss my daughter, she's at my sis place camping with her cousins. She's very happy
and excited to be with them. Guess, she feels lonely alone at home.
I spoke to my hubby. I wish that he could afford to take care of us.
I don't like to be away from him.
I miss him alot.
I'm afraid to take chances. I'm so comfortable with my life that I'm afraid of letting go
and tryout new life.
It is a big gamble to just let go, but sometimes I can't take it being alone and away
from him. I need a shoulder to lean on. I'm tired of being strong,
and being the strength for others. For once I want to be the one
in need.
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
what's left of it
That should be the title of my biography, if I have one. The problem is I don't think I need one, cos I know out there, there are others worse off than me. Grateful to be alive, and yet grateful to know that my life is not gonna be a long one either. Right now, I'm juggling life as much as I can cope daily. Knowing that your time is almost up can make you see things in better perspective, or at least, in a different perspective. Others have told me that only Almighty knows our birth, life partner & death. These are the secret of the universe that is beyond our control. And yet when you are in the know of your life expectancy, it feels liberating. Finally I'm out of the clutches of the unknown. But I'm sad for one thing, my beautiful daughter.
She will be the only regret in my death. She's the only guilt trip that I allow myself to have.
I can only wish that she will be able to handle it when my time comes.
I know she will have to learn to cope with life and whatever that life throws at her. But I also know that she can only be sad for a while because I have prepared her for this.
I dont indulge in self pity. Actually I hate the word 'pity'. It is such a hopeless word.
It is a word which I strongly avoid in my daily conversation with others.
You know, there are many pityful souls out there who sees life in minute details, such as spoiled oranges in the supermarket, stepping on spilt ice cream, and such. Well it is a pity that they are not able to appreciate life fully. Getting angry on insignificant things is such a waste of life.
My own sisters did not appear for my wedding (that was years ago), and yet I'm still talking to them. To each his own, and if that's what makes them happy at that time, so be it.
Life is too short for me to fret over such things.
My mom wonders why I am okay with it, well it is something that I chose to do.
I told her that I chose to be happy, and stay close and comfortable with my siblings. I'm sure they have their reasons, but I don't need to know. I chose to stop counting deeds (whether good or bad). Cos, in the end, what matters is that I am happy while I'm alive. So what's left of it, is what I'm chose to make good of it.
Some may not understand, I should take sides they say. I should be angry, I should be upset. There are a whole list of 'should' things that was handed on my plate. But guess what? I chose to live, and forgive. Forget is harder (a whole different blog can be dedicated to this subject alone).
Cos remember, Life is about living, the big picture, forget about fretting on minute details.
Go out there and LIVE!
She will be the only regret in my death. She's the only guilt trip that I allow myself to have.
I can only wish that she will be able to handle it when my time comes.
I know she will have to learn to cope with life and whatever that life throws at her. But I also know that she can only be sad for a while because I have prepared her for this.
I dont indulge in self pity. Actually I hate the word 'pity'. It is such a hopeless word.
It is a word which I strongly avoid in my daily conversation with others.
You know, there are many pityful souls out there who sees life in minute details, such as spoiled oranges in the supermarket, stepping on spilt ice cream, and such. Well it is a pity that they are not able to appreciate life fully. Getting angry on insignificant things is such a waste of life.
My own sisters did not appear for my wedding (that was years ago), and yet I'm still talking to them. To each his own, and if that's what makes them happy at that time, so be it.
Life is too short for me to fret over such things.
My mom wonders why I am okay with it, well it is something that I chose to do.
I told her that I chose to be happy, and stay close and comfortable with my siblings. I'm sure they have their reasons, but I don't need to know. I chose to stop counting deeds (whether good or bad). Cos, in the end, what matters is that I am happy while I'm alive. So what's left of it, is what I'm chose to make good of it.
Some may not understand, I should take sides they say. I should be angry, I should be upset. There are a whole list of 'should' things that was handed on my plate. But guess what? I chose to live, and forgive. Forget is harder (a whole different blog can be dedicated to this subject alone).
Cos remember, Life is about living, the big picture, forget about fretting on minute details.
Go out there and LIVE!
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