Closure

Many things happened over the last few months...
S-bldg closure.. foreman Z accident.. foreman T retrenchment...manager JJ sent back to Japan...

many things...
somehow it has been many bad things (except for the JJ sent home, alas!!) after another.
I develop some understanding with manager TT, and now on more common ground with A.

Yesterday, A told me straight into my face, twice.
"I care about you. I care about YOU!"
I laughed it off, and felt relieved that he said so.
At least it is out in the open. He cared, and I don't feel bad or giggly or dazed...
Neither did he.

We are matured adults, who happen to like each other and respect each other well.
He stopped being shy and moody.
And finally, after several months of awkwardness, we suddenly feel comfortable with each other again.
The whole weight was lifted off his shoulder, it seems. He smiled more openly and readily.
He is relaxed and relieved that I took it all in a stride.
I'm glad that he said what he said. This is so that he knows that I don't bite him off
nor behave all google-eyed on him.
He finally see that it's ok to care about someone deeply without turning it to romance or scandal.
We are adults... I like people to tell me that they care about me...
I won't go googoo gaagaa over him like a school girl.
I'm a married woman who is in touch with herself and her feelings.
I'm able to accept love without making it awkward.

I'm glad it is out in the open. He is happy and I am happy.
We will not be foolish to throw our lives away just because we care about each other.
We are just glad that we do care about each other enough to respect each other's space.
And we are comfortable enough to work together even better than before.

I'm glad this relationship has come full circle, a closure to the unanswered questions.

I'm only sad that our time will come to an end soon with the closing of S-bldg.

Little Sister

Last night I was questioned by my big brother of my whereabouts.
He ends it with a "merayap aje kau" and a disapproval look on his face.

I'm 36 years old, and a mother of a 10yr old kid.
Why am I being question as if I'm a 16 year old teenager.
It's a wonder why my brother, who loves spending time with his friends,
is now questioning my morale values just because I'm out with my girlfriends.
And for goodness sake, I was out to run errant and then for supper, only.
It's not like I'm parading across town, with toyboys on both arms, and
with a champagne glass in my hand.
The worse part of all, this happened in front of my girlfriends.

Sometimes, I wonder when do big brothers, mothers & fathers stop treating us like children.
I was disappointed with my brother for doing what he did.
He should know me better, and not get influenced by my mom, who is
constantly complaining about me whenever she sees that I have a life outside the house.

Sometimes, I just feel like leaving Singapore. Just pack my bags and leave without
thinking of the things or consequences I would be leaving behind.
I'm tired of doing the 'right' things, to fulfil to someone elses needs.
How about my needs?
Has any of them think about Me before they demand on Me?
I guess they see me as the one to meet their demands and their needs,
and by forsaking me as a person or a human being.

Last night, I told off my brother that I'm no longer his Little Sister.
Till today he has not replied me.
I hope for his sake that he realised what he did was wrong.