Some sticky matter that I had to overcome during the last few weeks.
I didn't intend to write about it, somehow I had to, just to relieve the tension.
1) I hate going to JB. I don't like the feeling of being alone in that country.
It's not that I'm alone ( I have my daughter with me).
It's just that I miss my hubby, cause we use to do this together.
I don't like being reminded that he's away.
My parents, esp. my mom, sometimes try to get me to send them to JB or KT.
I don't like it. Then when I refuse, I will start to feel guilty and pressured by my conscience.
I hate that. I hate to be forced to do something I really cannot do.
They don't seem to understand.
I have to be in the right set of mind to go to somewhere that I'm trying to avoid.
And this "somewhere" is my feeling of loneliness & helpless-ness.
THEY just don't get it!
2) At work, we are currently busy with Budget, and yet somehow I'm stuck with it alone.
It does not help that there are 2 person to do the job.
It does not help when the other fella who does not know how to do the job,
but somehow do not even have the interest to learn it.
And it does not help when my boss himself complains to me about this other fella.
Hey look Boss, we are both your subordinates.
I have no right to tell him off for you.
You have every right to do it yourself, without confiding in me of your trouble with him.
And it is really unfair when you end up loading everything on me, just cos' you can't get your other subordinate to do the work.
I'm tired of the excuses such as, I don't know, I'm not production man, I'm busy with other projects (SMT, etc).
Look, just because I let you (the other fella) get away with not doing the monthly planning and everything else with production, that does not mean you don't have to do the work FOREVER!!!!
Wake up!! Your upgrading is not based on your merits, but it is out of pity sake!
Can't you get the hint when the boss say he cannot promote you cos you're not doing any production work! Get it?
3) Aahh!!! The fights at home. The struggle between the young and the old.
My daughter whacked my dad on the head the other day.
She was angry with him for asking the same question too many times
and then doubting her answer.
He kept repeating and doubting her till she got very pissed and she hit him on the head with a piece of cardboard.
Then she got into quarrel with me, and that's when she slapped my hand.
I was shocked! Then my mom told me of what she did to my dad. I was furious with her.
But then mom told me that he was taunting her as usual, and making my girl very angry.
So i told my dad to stop doing such things cos it makes my daughter to be rude to him instead.
He shouted at me and said things that were totally unrelated but personal.
He didn't have to mention those things, but then as usual he blurted out things whenever he's angry.
So, I controlled my temper, punished my daughter, and stopped talking to my dad altogether.
I had to. I don't wish to be rude to him, and I don't want to go into a shouting match with him.
So I put a stop to everything.
Everyone has to be punished; for my daughter by taking her PSP & handphone.
As for my dad by stop talking to him.
I've done my part to keep the balance between the young and the old.
Guess what, it's the middle-aged me who nearly go crazy!!!!
I'm stuck.
I feel like Homer Simpson, hanging on a rope and being flung between a rock and a hard place.
