Where am I?

Where am I? I'm still in a dazed.
Landed in JFK, but cannot find my hubby.
Called him, he did not pick up the phone.
Then try again, finally he picked up, and then I looked up from fumbling with my coat and all, saw him walking slowly towards us.
He looked sick, very sick. He came with a friend to pick us up.
We quickly got into the car and left the airport.
Goodness, he looked really sick. He can't breathe, constantly panting and breathing hard, and coughed as if fighting for his breath.
Came back to a cold apartment. The central furnace is down, and the place is freezing.
I can't imagine living in cold apartment. I can't begin to imagine him living like this. But this is his reality.
I hate the situation now. He is sick, and now is admitted to Jamaica Medical Centre, down at VanWyck.
He grew thin, very thin. Just looking at him lying there in the hospital bed, I felt miserable, angry and very sick.
I hate him for putting us in this situation. I wish he would just come home with us.
As usual, it is out of the question, and is not a solution to him.
I just cannot pretend to understand him anymore. I'm tired of trying to make things work.
His family just looked at me in a bad light. None of them knew what is going on.
All they have to say is I have to stay with him, and I have no good reason to be away from him.
They cannot begin to understand what is going on. And I am not able to make them understand.
Only he can, and he won't.
Why is life so complicated? I tried and tried, and now I'm at my wits end to make this work.
God, please help me, please help us... If ever we are in Your sight, please do make things better.
I really can't see the light, and I'm really lost...
I really need Your help this time........