something's gotta give

this is something i wouldn't do everyday in singapore.
but here i am in NY doing it daily.
not expecting to do this on vacation, but i have too, i've no choice...
i'm commuting daily in NY, not to Manhattan, but to the county hospital.
Not for shopping as i've planned, but to visit my husband in ICU.
it has taken a toll on me and my daughter.. both of us tired after every visit..
tired of answering calls, listening to strangers telling us to be strong...
putting up appearances for relatives who suddenly declare themselves as family..
telling me what "family decision" is for now and trying to run my life...
i'm not enjoying this trip at all...
and this is not because of my hubby is sick, but because of the lies & empty promises
others make just to sound good and honorable.. as if!
i seriously do not know what to do next...
suddenly my life is on unchartered waters... and i have no map to guide me through...
my girl wants to go home, back to sgp... i feel that way too.
but i can't abandon my husband, and he will not comeback with us too...
we are just in different path right now and neither one wants to give up.
one day, but not today, we will have to make a decision...
it maybe painful, but necessary, to keep us both sane.
right now I'm TIRED.. seriously TIRED...