What Tangled Web We Weave....

What's going on now? I don't know how to describe.
Firstly, a friend J and another friend A has stopped communicating whatsoever.
This friend J is hurt and baffled by what is happening and therefore asked me what's going on.

Uh, uh! I don't want to hurt anyone too, so i said that maybe the other friend is just busy and
has many things going at the same time.
Actually i know that the friend A is actually really busy and does have many things on his mind. And one of those "things" is me, he told me himself.
He is divided between what he wants and what he needs. Not me of course!
But in regards to me, as a friend and a boss.
He does not wish to leave the company, and he is pretty happy working together with me.
But he also knows that there is no prospect in the company. And he is getting restless, and I can sense it few days before he actually told me of his decision.
He still teases me by saying that he may not leave, but may leave earlier than me (whatever!!).
I was confused and upset. So I spoke to our friend J.

Friend J tried to console me, but somehow friend J becomes sensitive to friend A's behaviour.
She felt hurt that he did not confide in her, but instead confided in me only.
She also mention about how different friend A treats me and her.
I don't know what to say to J. I do not wish to hurt her feelings.
Yes, he may be utterly nice to me, in fact we are so close that many thought that he was my PA.
And this come straight from J. I'm not sure is she jealous or just being too sensitive.

I tried talking to her about it, but somehow it comes to the same conclusion, which is
"please enjoy the privilege you're getting while he is still around, okay!" I just don't want to get into the quarrel.
I'm upset but I can't tell J or A, as I don't want to make things worse.
I know A treats me well, but I'm also his boss.
I'm not saying that he is not sincere, but that he is really a nice guy, very handy and helpful to have around.
As much as i'll be on a losing end to lose him, i can't be selfish. I can't bring myself to be selfish, while keeping his ambition and dreams brushed to the side.

What a tangled web we weave, when colleagues become friends.
I have many to lose, and nothing to gain either way.

I think J is just hurt that she's not treated the same way that i'm being treated by A.
And A is also not making it easier for me. He has given me a different look now.
I catch him looking at me several times during a separate lunch (don't know why, but he didn't want to sit with us!)
He answers me with definite answers and while staring deeply into my eyes.
I can catch some glint and hint of smile during the meetings and discussion (as if we share secrets).
And he gave a fake smile while I joke around with the other guy-colleagues.
J notices all this, but she should know that I'm married and she is engaged, right!
We are in no position to be fighting over this guy!

As for me, I try my best to ignore his gazes and smiles, and his hints.
The only thing that I can make sense of all this is:-
his departure is due to me and maybe how he feels when he's around me.
I think he knows that it's NOT wise to stay around.
I'm not trying to flatter myself, but others have noticed the way he behaves around me.
Even my own daughter can see the difference the way he talks to J and the way he talks to me.

I do not wish to be in such position.
I just wish things were like before,
before all these complication sets in.
I wish he stays on and work with me.
I wish, I wish ....